A thought has been coming up in my mind this week. The thought is “How do you know when it’s over?” For me, this meant looking at a serious relationship I had with someone and be willing to admit that it was no longer working. Have you ever been there? Have you known that a relationship was not working but you do not do anything about it? You find yourself wanting to leave the relationship in the rearview mirror but even though you have a strong desire to do so, you drift backward slowly and before you know it your progress is gone.
This is where the rubber meets the road! The relationship I am talking about is my relationship with myself. It is one of the most valuable relationships, next to my relationship with God, that I will have in my lifetime. I had known for quite some time that my relationship with me was not a great one. I played many roles. At times I was an abuser, other times a victim, then I became the encourager, or at the end of my rope, indifferent.
I did not like the way I treated me as I abused my body with food. I shamed and embarrassed myself as I spoke harshly and critically in the mirror. I tried to build me back up by encouraging along the way. Do you want to know the worst part? The worst part was the damage I did physically and emotionally. All that I had taken on as my responsibility when I was a child as though it was my fault, I had no control over. However, as an adult I became the abuser, victimizing myself before anyone else could.
When I made the decision to leave my past behind and follow Jesus, I began a journey that would last a lifetime. So back to the question, “How do you know when it’s over?” I knew it was over the first time I surrendered my life to Christ. In some ways I was looking for a quick fix to stop the hurting I carried over my lifetime. What I found though is that turning my back on my past was a decision I had to make continuously in my walk with God.
I spent many years gaining an understanding that instead of trying to fix me or the things that happened to me I simply needed to surrender them to God. I was not supposed to carry the things that happened to me once I came into relationship with God. I did not have to earn His love and acceptance, I already had it through Christ.
Our relationship with God will triumph over every hurt and pain we experienced even at our own hands. So, “How do you know when it’s over?” How do you know you are through hurting yourself or allowing others to hurt you? How do you know when you have come to the end of trying to fix you when acceptance and forgiveness is the only way to freedom?
I think part of the answer is willingness. I also know for myself I hit that crossroad question of “How do you know when it’s over?,” as often as I need a reminder to lean on Him instead of trusting my ability to fix me.
- Be willing to admit the old ways are not working.
- Be willing to find out what life in Christ offers.
- Be willing to consider God’s way as essential to a new life.
- Be willing to act on God’s truth.
- Be willing to focus on God and learn His ways.