The best thing I ever did was give myself permission to be me, the person God created me to be. I stopped trying to fit within the boundaries of other people’s expectations or trying to fit myself into a mold that wasn’t mine to begin with. As I look back over all the years of trying to be something that I wasn’t I could lament that I’ve wasted so much time.
However, I know that life is a constant revelation and the learning process unfolds over time. Instead of looking at how much time I wasted discovering my true self and the person that was me, I am now thankful that all of the life experiences have brought me to a greater understanding and appreciation of who I am and how God has shaped me.
Here are some things I’ve learned so far:
- When I spend my time trying to become someone else, I never learn to appreciate who I am. If I don’t appreciate my own qualities, how can someone else?
- On the same token, if I bend myself into four different directions to be like someone else or to gain approval from them, I set myself up for failure every time.
- Expectations are constantly changing and the minute I become what someone else has decided is acceptable to them then expectations change, and the process starts all over again.
- I will never gain acceptance and approval from others when I can’t recognize my own value.
When you finish reading the blog post, take out a pen and paper or use your phone memo app. Then:
- Write a list of qualities that make you unique. Write down the reasons that this quality in you has proven itself to be valuable through your life experiences.
- Write a list of qualities that you don’t consider valuable. Think about situations in your life where you have used that quality. If it was useful then, it will be valuable in the future. If you haven’t made use of it yet, you will.
I have always considered myself somewhat of a throwback, an old soul if you will. I think a lot about life and desire to know and to learn more, and at times I dissect it. I am loyal as a friend, I am honest, I am trustworthy because I have learned to keep my word. Growing up, and even as an adult, the qualities I valued seemed to be old-fashioned to others. I am also one who processes, who looks at the consequences of choices and rarely do I act without thinking something through beforehand. I am not the one you would expect to go on a spontaneous bungee jump, unless you wanted me to rehearse the pros and cons with you. Just kidding. Or am I? No seriously, I would be your cheer leader, but I wouldn’t jump off the cliff with you.
I’ve come to realize that there are all kinds of people in the world and they are all valuable. Usually what we do is compare apples to oranges, especially when it comes to our own value. I am honest, but that person is slender. I am loyal, but that person has great hair. Most of the time when we are evaluating our own life, we compare things that always find us lacking even though the comparison is “apples to oranges.”
I have one piece of advice, STOP DOING THAT! I know, you should never use all caps because it means yelling or something, but I used it for emphasis. I want you to be the best person that you can be. I want me to be the best person I can be and the only way to do that is stop comparing ourselves to others and learn what qualities make each of us unique.
I want more than anything for every person reading this post to learn to be at peace with their own place in this world. We don’t have to fight for that place to occupy it. We also don’t have to put others down in order to make ourselves worthy. I believe the key to this whole process is to value who we have been created to be and what we were created to do. God is the one who created us, He will develop our qualities and help us to learn our value to Him and in Him.
When I accept God’s opinion of me and learn to identify His estimation of my worth, I can begin the process of living life fully, and without comparison. I love this scripture in Galatians 6:4-6 (ERV) which says “Don’t compare yourself with others. Just look at your own work to see if you have done anything to be proud of. You must each accept the responsibilities that are yours.”
Prayer: Father I pray for those reading this post, that they would recognize their value because of the price that was paid for them through Jesus. Help them to look at the qualities they have as one’s given to them by You. Help them to see themselves through Your eyes Father, and as they begin to understand their value to You, they would no longer compare themselves to others. Instead, help them understand that they were created and crafted for a purpose in service to You. When they finally recognize that their worth comes from You, their Creator, they won’t be moved by another’s opinion of them and will rest in the knowledge that Your creation is good.
@Copyright Linda Wilson on LindaWilsonWriting.com 20181227