“Out of intimacy comes the strength to weather any storm. Out of intimacy a foundation of love is created that is so deeply ingrained in us that it is impossible for anyone to denigrate our worth. Out of intimacy, belief in the power and presence of God is rooted and fully grounded. Out of intimacy our relationships are strengthened, and trust becomes a staple in our lives.”
As I was driving home from a Power and Love School, https://powerandlove.org/schools/schedule/ that was held in Boise, Idaho, a phrase came up in my thoughts. The phrase was “into me you see.” As I continued to meditate on the phrase, it merged into the word intimacy. Into me you see, intimacy. Since I like to challenge my understanding of a word I went to the dictionary and looked up the definition of intimacy. One definition was “closeness of observation or knowledge of a subject.
When I first started thinking or meditating on “into me you see” I took a step back and thought “What if I don’t want someone to see into me?” I realized that for as long as I’ve been in relationship with God, I’ve had a tendency at times, to hold Him at length. Only so far Lord, only so far do I want you to see me. Sounds crazy doesn’t it but there are a lot of ways we try to protect ourselves and that was mine. I knew then that this was something I had to take directly to the Source.
In prayer, I saw that “into me you see” isn’t just about God being able to see me with all my faults, failures and weaknesses. It is also about that exchange which takes place in a relationship with Him. When I am weak, He is strong. When I am in pain, He is the one who can heal me. When I am discouraged or disappointed in something, He is the one who brings someone along to help lift me up.
That is the place of intimacy. He knows when I am hurting even before I do. He knows when I am angry even before I will admit it to myself. He can bring things to my attention before they are able to root themselves in my heart. That is intimacy.
What are some key aspects of intimacy in relationships?
- Time/Building Trust
- Actions (follow-through)
Intimacy requires trust and trust is developed in relationships over time, whether that relationship is with another person or with God.
Time is a precious commodity that all of us believe we never have enough of, so it becomes increasingly important to use it wisely. First and foremost, we must develop and maintain relationships in our lives that are meaningful and bring out the best in us and in others. An intimate relationship with God brings out the best in every one of us.
Intimacy includes giving someone the ability to speak into our lives. Because they are in our close circle of friends, we believe the words they speak. When that relationship isn’t tested in the fire of time or uplifted by trust, serious damage can be done to our belief in ourselves, God and His call on our life.
Because we allow people to speak into our lives, it is important to surround ourselves with those who can and will remind us of God’s life and truth. There is nothing worse than having someone very close to us speak lies or betray our confidence.
I love the scripture in Ephesians 4:29 NLT where it says “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” Let’s make sure the words we use to describe ourselves as well as words we use to describe others are ones that bring life, not condemnation and shame. We all need God’s truth and love.
Actions and/or follow-through
The last aspect of intimacy I will discuss is actions and/or follow-through. When a person in our close circle speaks life to us and has developed a certain level of trust while at the same time proving they can’t keep their word or honor their commitments, any trust that was previously built will begin to erode. If we can’t count on someone to be there when they’ve said they will be, the relationship will be steeped in uncertainty. The intimacy that could be possible in a relationship will never come to fruition because intimacy is fractured without trust.
When we allow ourselves to know and be known by others, including God, that is the place where the most satisfying relationships are found, and a foundation of lasting trust can be built. “Into me you see” means the same compassionate eyes that look on the inside of us and we are fully known, loves us and wants the best for all of us. “Into me you see” can also be turned around and as we seek Him in His word and in prayer, we are able to grasp nuances of our Heavenly Father that we’ve never experienced before.